Season 6, Episode 6: When should I ask, and when should I touch?

Tania Huddart: I was working with a teacher on her hands and knees, and she couldn't find her neutral. She said, "I feel like I'm overdoing it." So I asked her to imagine two headlights on the front of her hips. "If you want those two beams of light to shine straight down at the floor, where would you place your hips?" And she found it. Straight away.

Host: Welcome to Build Confidence and Purpose with Pilates. I'm here with Tania Huddart: Pilates teacher, teacher trainer and author of Teach Pilates with Confidence and Pilates & Purpose. Both voices you'll hear are made with AI. Every word Tania says is her own, and she's approved each one.

Last episode was about showing and saying. Today we stay in Part 2 of the course, your teaching toolkit. When should I ask, and when should I touch?

Tania Huddart: Ask more than you think. Touch only after you've asked. They're both ways of bringing your client into the conversation.

Host: Why do questions matter so much?

Tania Huddart: Our adult learners are problem solvers. We talked about that in Part 1. They like to solve a problem. And questioning is really the only way to bring that problem-solving up to the surface. It's how they take ownership of the movement for themselves.

Host: The course quiz says there are two types of question. Rhetorical and direct. What's the difference?

Tania Huddart: A rhetorical question goes to the whole room, and you don't wait for anyone to answer out loud. "Where do you feel that?" Everyone answers in their own body. A direct question goes to one person, and you wait to hear what they say.

In my video, I break the direct ones down again. There are simple questions, and there are complex ones.

Host: Start with simple.

Tania Huddart: A simple question is a factual one. It's something you've told them before, and you want to see if they can recall it. There's only one right answer.

So I asked her, "When you lift one leg up into the air, what position does your pelvis need to be in?" And she said, "Neutral." Neutral is your pelvis in its natural middle position. Not tipped forward, and not tipped back. That's all she'd learnt so far, so that was the answer I was looking for.

Host: And a complex question?

Tania Huddart: That's when you want them to problem-solve. So I phrased it differently. "Once your leg is up here, if you want to draw it closer towards your body, what do you think is going to happen to your lower spine?" And she said, "It wants to touch the floor." Good. It's curling. "And what happens when you bring the leg back? Does your back arch all the way, or just come back to neutral?" "Just back to neutral."

So I'm using a few questions to take her on a little trip through her own body. Now she knows that when her leg comes past a certain point, her lower back has to change shape. And that's useful later, for an exercise like rollover, where the legs go up and over and the spine has to curl.

And give them time to answer. It's very tempting to answer for them. But if you do, you've solved the problem, and they haven't. So wait. Or ask it a different way.

Host: What if the answer's wrong, or they just don't know?

Tania Huddart: Then they've told you something. That's where the headlights came from.

I asked her, "If you come onto your hands and knees, how would you know where to find your neutral?" We call that four-point kneeling. She tried. She pushed her sitting bones up. And she said, "I find it difficult. I feel like I'm overdoing it." Her back had gone into a U shape.

So she'd admitted she was confused. And this is where my teaching comes in. I gave her the image of the headlights. Then I used touch, to help guide her hip bones. A little more length through the low back. And there it was. A beautiful long spine, not arched and not rounded.

One question opened the door to two other tools.

Host: Why does that build trust, rather than just being slower?

Tania Huddart: Because they feel like they're in it with you. You're not the expert telling them what to do. You're involving them in the process.

And the next time she goes onto her hands and knees, she'll probably think, "Headlights of my hips. I don't want a U." She owns that now. So next lesson, we've got something to build on.

Host: Here's my sceptical question. In a class of fifteen people, I don't have time to have a conversation with everyone.

Tania Huddart: No, you don't. That's where the rhetorical question helps. It takes two seconds, and it reaches the whole room. And one good question to one person teaches everyone who's listening.

Host: Let's talk about touch. When is it right?

Tania Huddart: Only after you've asked. The quiz asks if you should always ask permission to touch a client. And the answer is true. Always.

In my touch video, the very first thing I do is ask. "I'm going to be using some touch today. Are you OK with me helping you through touch, or would you rather not?" And then, "If at any point the touch is uncomfortable, please let me know." That prepares your client for what's coming.

In a group, it's harder. That's where I use consent cards, next to the mat. We talked about those back in Season 2.

Host: And if the answer is no?

Tania Huddart: Then you can cue self-touch. Say a client tells me, "I'm too sore today. I really don't want hands-on help." I might say, "Place your hands on the front of your pelvis. Fingertips on your pubic bone, and the heels of your hands on your hip bones. Can you feel that line across the front of your belly?" Then she gently rocks her pelvis back and forward, and her own hands tell her what's moving.

You might put their hands on their ribs for the breathing. Or one hand on the chest and one on the tummy. Anything that brings sensation to the part of the body you want them to focus on.

Host: And when the answer is yes?

Tania Huddart: Then I'm always aware of three things. My breath. Where my hands are going. And how I'm going to focus into the touch.

It's very startling for a client if you suddenly put your hand down without any thought. Even if they've chosen to have touch. Even if they said yes last time. A yes to touch isn't a yes to anything you like. So make eye contact first. And tell them what you're about to do. "I'm going to put the heels of my hands on your hips."

Host: Does it matter how you touch?

Tania Huddart: So much. No pokey fingertips. They're very uncomfortable. Use as much of your hand as you can.

If I want to lift a leg, I use what I call a C grip. My whole hand behind the leg, supporting it, not gripping it. When I showed fingertips in the video, my demonstrator made a little grimace. That told you everything.

And when you're guiding a direction, be firm but gentle. A light, hesitant touch makes people uncomfortable. It's a firm hold, but it's not a squeeze. You're not digging your fingers in.

Say a leg is rolling inwards as it lifts. I might cradle the hip with my whole hand and give a little turn, so she can feel the bone rotating outwards. It's the same with an arm. I support it under the elbow, like a little cradle, without squeezing.

Host: You mentioned your breath.

Tania Huddart: Breathing with the touch. I always lift on an exhale. That's what I've found gives me the best connection into the dialogue I'm trying to create. Sometimes I'll cue us both to breathe out together. It creates a strong connection between you and your client.

And keep asking while you touch. In my video, I asked, "What can you feel when I cue you there?" And she said it was the leading. The cue for her body to know where to go. That told me the touch was working.

Your touch is another form of communication. So do it with gentleness and respect.

Host: What could a teacher try in their next class?

Tania Huddart: Choose one exercise. Write two questions for it. One simple, with one right answer. One complex, that gets them solving something. Say them out loud to yourself before class. It feels a bit odd, but it works.

And before any touch, try the whole thing. Ask. Make eye contact. Say what you're about to do. Then breathe out with them.

Host: So, three things to take away?

Tania Huddart: One. Ask questions. A simple one checks what they remember. A complex one gets them solving it for themselves.

Two. Always ask before you touch. And if the answer is no, cue their own hands instead.

Three. When you do touch, breathe, use your whole hand, and tell them what you're doing.

Host: And the question to sit with?

Tania Huddart: When did you last let a client work something out before you told them the answer? And what did they find?

Host: Everything we talked about today is in Part 2 of Tania's online course, Teach Pilates with Confidence: Your teaching toolkit. It's open now. You'll find it at taniahuddart.com/academy.

Next episode, we're still in the toolkit. What makes a cue actually work?

Tania, last word?

Tania Huddart: Asking and touching both say the same thing. We're in this together. You're not standing over them as the expert. You're working it out with them. Clients feel that. And that's where trust comes from.